Cucumber Pickle.

Cucumbers were on offer in Lidl yesterday so I was inspired to make some cucumber pickle. I won’t lie, I thought it might make a nice blog post. It’s cheap and a doddle to make. It raises a cheddar sandwich from great to excellent. I use this recipe with added fennel and mustard seeds. I think the fennel freshens up the taste. So far, so good.

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I set the small girl up with her dolls and armed myself with my camera. The camera was a bad influence. Within minutes I was getting carried away to fame and fortune as I smiled fetchingly towards an imaginary TV crew in the middle distance. I gave the unfortunate small girl a running commentary as I artfully combined ingredients. Then I turned to my handsome (sadly, fictional) cameraman so that I could pout seductively as I tasted my concoction.

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Urrrgggghhhh. Lost in my reverie, I had doubled the salt. I rinsed, and spat in the kitchen sick while Handsome Cameraman slipped quietly out of my life.

All was not lost. I went back and added double everything else. So now I have a large quantity of this stuff in the fridge. The words ‘goes well with cucumber pickle’ may appear here several times next week.

Small girl was playing quietly throughout this farce. I noticed she had carefully positioned one of her dolls on the windowsill.

‘Why is Stephanie up there’, I asked.

‘Oh yes’, she replied, ‘they go on the shelf for a month when they have a bowl a’.

‘A bowl of what, Darling?’

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She meant Ebola.

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