Last week, in between coats of yellow paint, I made my annual batch of tomato relish. We call this Fakeymaloe Relish and Irish people will know exactly which famous brand I am faking. I think this is my fourth time making it and I vary the recipe slightly each time. I’m borrowing heavily from this recipe for Tomato and Apple Chutney from Darina Allen with a soupcon of influence from this recipe for Green Tomato Chutney, also from Darina Allen.
Last year we had tons of tomatoes from the garden so I used those. This year we had exactly one ripe tomato (I kid you not, ONE!) so I resorted to tinned tomatoes and threw in a few green ones just to use them up.
Half the fun of making this is trying to make it taste like the genuine article. This is a good batch. I think I’m 99% there. The real stuff is made about ten miles down the road from us; maybe an information-gathering mission is required.
The reason Ballymaloe Relish (woops, I said it) is so popular is that it makes almost any food known to man taste better. A cheddar cheese sandwich is simply naked without some relish. Even McDonald’s are using it!
If you don’t have access to the real stuff, and even if you do, try this!
2550g (Net weight) tinned tomatoes (or make up with fresh tomatoes)
250g green tomatoes (entirely optional)
(Imperial measure: you want a total of 6lb of tomatoes)
450g onions (2/3 onions, depending on their size), chopped finely.
1Kg (2lb 3oz) apples (cooking apples or fairly tart eating apples), peeled and sliced.
150g (5oz) sultanas
2tsp mustard seeds
1/2 tsp mild curry powder
1 small dried chilli pepper (peperoncino)
475 mls (1 pint) white malt vinegar.
4 cloves garlic, crushed.
This could not be easier. Pile everything into a large pot, stir while it comes to the boil and then simmer for at least 2 hours until it has reduced by roughly one third its volume.
Dispense into sterilised jars. I filled eleven jars which should keep me in fully dressed cheese sandwiches for the forseeable future.