I thought I was safe so long as I was the person behind the camera.
Late last evening, a lovely lady emailed me to request a head shot. She needed a high res, close-up photo of me and she needed it ASAP. Mild panic ensued.
Followed closely by extreme panic.
I tried sending the profile pic on my housewife page.
Nope. The quality is rubbish. Would I have the original?
Nope. That was taken on a tablet shortly before Small (but not small enough) Girl sat on it breaking the screen. I priced buying a new screen but discovered it would cost more than replacing the tablet so, true to form, I did neither.
Would I have any other hi res photo of myself? Without a child, spouse or mucky dog hanging off of me?
Errr… this one?Barefoot, food in mouth and head in book. It’s me but it’s not ideal, is it?
Maybe this one? This is actually one of my favourite photos of myself, taken very early on a summer’s morning by Husband.
Still, I’d rather not be the odd-looking woman in a blue paper jumpsuit.
Now, here’s a good one:
No make-up and a silly hat… not your traditional head shot material.
Those were the only contenders.There is not a single other photo of me since I let my hair grow out grey. There was nothing for it but to get up early this morning and hope for a miracle.
All the stops were pulled out. YSL Touche Eclat, usually saved for weddings and encounters with old flames, was liberally painted on.Eyebrows were coaxed into submission (sort of). Eyeliner (Dior pencil bought for my wedding in 1997) was applied, lips were lined (LINED! Seriously, that’s dedication to the cause!) and the hair was washed, conditioned, anti-frizzed and ferociously hot-brushed. I even put on perfume in the vague hope that it could give me allure, or just fortitude.
Middle Daughter was co-opted to the cause as chief photographer. The kitchen curtains were pinned back in order to catch every photon of available light which is not a whole lot at 8.30 on a February morning in Ireland.
And then I smiled.
‘Mum, that’s not a proper smile.’
‘Mum, can’t you smile without moving your eyebrows?’
‘…or your neck!’